Amelia: And don't worry about form, sir. Mysterious Cat-napperAbducts Family of Cats." Hey,Mr. O'Malley, how much farther is it? Oh! Duchess: Now, Marie, darling,don't be frightened. WebWith nothing left to lose, he launched into the Aristocrats joke, shifting gears with a decisive, OK, a talent agent is sitting in his office. He goes on for nine minutes and 50 I lie on a chaise lounge, naked, reading sonnets from Shakespeare, and my third sister, she makes a painting very similar to Decroix's 'The Girl'." Now, you go for the tires, Laffy and I'll goright for the seat of the problem. You didn't say anything about blood." Well, uh--Well, all it needsis a little tidying upand, well,maybe aIittle feminine touch. Oh, that must be him! All right. He then describes a Hieronymus Boschlike tableau of torture. And they have two children, Betsy and Timmy. And come to think of it, O'Malley,you're not a cat, you're a rat. The Aristocrats Sketch Edgar Balthazar: Oh, uh-- May Igive you a hand, sir? [Huffing]. I'll think of a way. Why, there are a millionreasons why I should! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! We're gonnafly after all! Have some. Oh, ooh, ooh! Duchess: Now, Marie, let's leaveToulouse to his painting. Roquefort: Not a sign of them, Frou-Frou,and I've searched all night. Ow! Let's see. Why, you won't believewhat they tried to doto your poor old Uncle Waldo! Ooh, it's them shoes again. Napoleon:Wait a minute. I simply wantto make my will. sporkythespaz. Now, run along downstairs. [Singing]I'm kingof the highwayPrince ofthe boulevard, Duke ofthe avant-gardeThe worldis my backyardSo if you'regoin' my wayThat's the roadyou wanna seekCalcutta to Romeor home, sweet homeIn Parismagnifique, you all. (2x). He had one of the most iconic voices in hollywood, most. A family walks in to a talent agency. The horse hits Edgar with her back legs and he flies into the trunk. Mark Elliott: It's Disney's award-winning, completely computer-animated smash hit. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh! Sarah Silverman: Joe Franklin loved The Aristocrats. He's nothing but a cad. 1 Mar. That feels good,Lafayette. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Abigail: Yes. Ooh. And that was my vacation. You're justher house pets. Genghis Kahn, for god sakes. And we were all ridingand bouncing along--. SUBTITULOS ESPAOL Struck by lightning. I'll saywhen it's the end. Marie: I'll show youif I'm a lady or not. First,to make the magic begin,you wiggleyour noseand tickleyour chin. And the whole family starts running around screaming and laughing with their dicks and tittles all flapping around, covered with piss and shit and cum, goin', Learn More About The New Episode - Japanese Toilets. Lafayette: Oh, shucks, Napoleon. Duchess: (offscreen; chuckling)Yes. Whew! And the agent's like, "What do you do?" Marie:Mama! Lafayette:How come you always grabthe tender part for yourself, man? O'Malley: Hey, Scat Cat, dude! Mark Elliott: "Aladdin" showed you an entire new world. Sarah silverman delivered one of the most controversial versions of the joke in the aristocrats.after an emotionally. [ Grunting ] Okay, Laffy, you're right, it's the end. 4:39. I'll be gone. Now, you want to grow up to be lovely,charming ladies and gentlemen. Berlioz: Come on, " Rodeford." But right now it's time we concerned ourselveswith self-improvement. Amelia: Of course, my dear. O'Malley: Go away! Startmentioning name, rodent. O'Malley: You know something? Ho, ho, ho! Ooh. But I'm a mouse! Jillette and Provenza tell dirty jokes. The comedy stems from the middle section of the joke, where the comedian aims to get a reaction from the audience in spite of the disgusting acts being related. She's a real sexy nine-year-old. Oh, are you all right? [Humming"Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]Oops! Georges Hautecourt: Am I going too fast for you, Edgar? Edgar stabs a mound of hay with a pitchfork. 7:01. That seems to make the whole joke. When they're seen upon an airing. Very good. Very good. Just hearing out loud descriptions of giddy sh*t-covered incest. Edgar Balthazar: Cats inherit first! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Yes, yes, of course,but you know what to do. Hey! Duchess:Oh, no, no. O'Malley: Come on, Duchess. "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. Get her! Duchess: Oh, no more, please. My umbrella! [offscreen]Gethim, get him, get him, get him! The Aristocats! Just back away from me. Frogs: [singing] Ribbit, croak, needeep, croak, ribbit. Beau Weaver: And now, our feature presentation. I'm doin' fine! Napoleon: Mm-mm. Scat Cat:Hold it, cats! Amelia: Sir. The Aristocrats- Not Telling The Joke. Whoo-whoo! [Genie Jafar throws a fireball at the screen, and the screen fades from white, revealing the "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves" logo] "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves". Jasmine: [singing] We're eventually getting married! [sings] A guy so swell. O'Malley:Wellguess they won'tneed me any more. WebComedians don't tell jokes. Anyway, it's much longerthan I'd ever live. He sneaked upbehind me and tailgated me. Woody: Alright. Billy Boss: So? Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Duchess: Over here, darling. Uncle Waldo: [Laughter]Now, now, now, now. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:You know, Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will,I'm sure he neverwould have left. Phoebus: She's very lucky to have a friend like you. Mm, ooh, oh, heh. Duchess:[ Sighing ]I don't know what to say. Oh, dear. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Of course, Frou-Frou,I almost forgot. This joke may contain profanity. The film was created by Penn Jillette with Paul Provenza and was released in 2005. He could have arms like Popeye. Edgar Balthazar: Oh, they won't find a clueto implicate me. ln trouble! Edgar Balthazar: [Shoes Squeaking] If I were those mongrels, where would I find my stuff? Beloved comedian gilbert gottfried, who died tuesday, was as well known for his edgy and. [offscreen]Toulouse? Meee-owww! Now [Silent clips of "Aladdin 3" are shown, starting with Aladdin riding Magic Carpet, and Genie flying next to him as they enter Agrabah] Walt Disney Pictures invites you to a celebration. Come along, dear. We shall fly to Parison a magic carpet,side by side. And that's the act. All: [offscreen]Everybody(2x)Everybodywants to be-A Lafayette:Hey, Napoleon,that sounds like the end. Your father is trapped within their world. She loves us very much. Sorry, it was half Oh, that's thatfamous restaurant. Genie: [sings] They're eventually getting married! You guys wanna hear a funny joke my Grandpa told me? We have guys f***ing and sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an 11-year old cheerleader. Naturellement! Stupid cat! I'm frightfully sorry, sir! Georges Hautecourt:Very good. [Chuckling] Now this calls for another cracker. He's just helping us to get to--. I simplywish to have the cats inherit first. [ Singing ]Everybody's pickin' upon that feline beat'Cause everything else is obsolete, O'Malley [ Singing ] A square with a horn makes youwish you weren't born, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Every time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] But with a squarein the actYou can setmusic back, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]To the caveman days[ Scats ], O'Malley: [offscreen; singing]I've heard some corny birdswho tried to sing, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Still the cat's the only catwho knows how to swing, Billy Boss: [ With Russian Accent ]Who wants to dig a long-hairedgig and stufflike that, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]When everybody wants to be a catA square with a horn makes youwish you weren't bornEvery time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]With a square in the actyou can set music backTo the caveman days, Marie: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky, Trio: [ Singing ]Yes, everybody wants to be a catEverybody wants to be a catBecause a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's atWhen playin' jazzhe always has a welcome mat'Cause everybodydigs a swingin' cat. Bonsoir! Over a hundred comedians are invited to discuss the joke and the role of taboos in humour. Don't worry. [offscreen] Maybe we'd betterfind another place, huh? Haven'tyouforgotten something for Frou-Frou, darling? Thieves: [singing] Welcome to the Forty Thieves! [to Roquefort] Strike one. Edgar throws the pitchfork at him, hitting him against the wall. Kittens! Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Then the father gets up and says, "And now for our impersonation of the victims of 9/11." [onscreen]Tell him O'Malley sent youand you won't have a bit of trouble. Those cats have got to go! The husband, he plays chess with Timmy - and then the maid comes in with strawberries and whipped cream, and they all eat a nice dessert. You can put people to death for what goes on in the best versions of this joke! Please? Cartman: You guys want to hear a funny joke my grandpa told me? And I always throw in that. [offscreen]Huh, and those kids. O'Malley pushes the pitchfork off with his hind feet, freeing himself. [offscreen] Lafayette,what in tarnation you trying to do!? Billy: No, but the rest is kind of hard to believe. He says, "What do you do?" But it is notquite Shakespeare. Here, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! [The movie logo appears] "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh". Roquefort:Don't come in! Frou-Frou pulls on a rope and the hook lifts Edgar up into the air. WebIts an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. I'm the leader! You've got it! I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. Andy Dick: I come out, dressed as Hitler in crotchless panties. Mark Elliott: This summer, share the feeling. "Moe, Larry, the cheese!" O'Malley:Hey! Abigail: Oh, dear! Comics Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette are in the fall-over-laughing camp. And then the guy goes, "The Aristocrats." Georges Hautecourt: [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[ Humming ]Oh. Woody: This is the perfect time to panic! WebThe Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. And this time, ha,you'll never come back. [offscreen]Any womanwould like it. Oh, please! Send us a tip using our anonymous form. I'm gonna call it The Aristocrats. Back off, girls. Hugo: Pour the wine and (farts with his armpit 3 times) cut the cheese! They're old buddiesand they're real swingers. Darling, why, that--Why, that's ridiculous. Duchess:Very good, darling. She goes, "Well, my sister plays the cello. I remember that Ifainted. Web295K views, 1.9K likes, 423 loves, 1.2K comments, 1.4K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Brandon Rogers: THE ARISTOCRATS JOKE [looks under the sheet of his doodle pad] Umone minor note here. So if you would be just so kind. Look out for Edgar! [Screaming]Nice doggy! Edgar Balthazar: Great. And whatmight your name be? Sir? [We cut to a pencil animation test of Genie turning into a construction worker]. It does look hopeless,doesn't it? WebThe Aristocrats is a terminal movie. In that sense, its the ideal joke for a comedy documentary. Here we go. But that's a whole other story. Hop aboard the motorcycle. This is the second theatrical appearance of South Park. Edgar Balthazar: [singing] Rock-a-bye, kittiesBye-bye you goLa la la laand I'm in the dough [spoken]Oh, Edgar,you sly old fox! Lafayette: [Chuckling nervously] Ow! We gotta split! Yeah. He takes the tampon and throws it at the window and it sticks. Champagne,dancing the night away. Splendid, madame! You eitherare or you're not. [onscreen]Heave-ho! Doug Stanhope: With this bleeding anus splattering on the crowd. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Thank you, Edgar. We give the first few rows garbage bags. Toulouse: Hey, guys. Duchess: Marie, darling. I mean, oh, each cat will liveabout 12 years. Now, come on. 1 of 3 The Artistocrats Show More Show Less 2 of 3 Co-creator Penn Jillette arrives at the premiere of the film "The Aristocrats", Tuesday, July 26, 2005, in New York. [Woody claps for Buzz] And for Sega Genesis and Super NES, "Toy Story: The Video Game". Mark Elliott: "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves"! [Growling]. Young cat. because in a joke that's what happens. Mark Elliott: With it's all-new 37th animated motion picture! The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Mario Cantone: In my show, I'm gonna sit on top of the piano and fit the whole thing in my vagina. Duchess! Obviously a philanderer who trifleswith unsuspecting women's hearts. And saying, "This is totally wrong! The projectile sh*t is just flying out of him it's going all over the room it's like spin art. You never miss. It's a totally different show. I'm tryin'to get to shore. Edgar Balthazar: Could we take the elevatorthis time, sir? [Laughing]You're making it very difficult. Toulouse: I'll show him. Kittens? [Woody and Buzz sword fight with car wash brushes, then at the next mouse click, Woody climbs up a gas tank and tries to body hit Buzz, but Buzz misses him] There are mind-challenging activities. Wish me luck. I say, that's not at all bad. O'Malley: Hey there, bud! I mean it's surprising they haven't that they're not all in jail! So the talent agent says, "All right, you've got two minutes." They're gone! Copyright 2023 Penske Business Media, LLC. Rita Rudner: The people are abusing each other. Groove it, cat! Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! Duchess: [Laughing]Bravo! John Leader: Now, that movie can be part of your family's collection of grand Disney animated classics. Pat Cooper: My grandmother, on the stage, has an abortion! Kittens! [The screen flashes again, but this time with the white screen fading to a black background with text saying "Coming to Theaters Summer 1996"]. Napoleon: Hush your mouth! ", T. Sean Shannon: "Well, you can't say that.". Georges Hautecourt:[Chuckles] Of course. The more,the merrier. Buzz Lightyear: To infinity. Being British, I wouldhave preferred sherry. They're eating dinner, and they just finish, and their maid comes in and she clears the plates. WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. Toulouse:[offscreen]I told ya it was Edgar. They get the- towait. Ooh. [Grunting]Lafayette. To my cats. Why, you'll, you'll wake upthe whole neighborhood! On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. I like Uncle Waldo. Roquefort:[ Breathing Hard ]No trouble, he said. Beautiful. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. How did they develop this act! [offscreen]Any last words? I'm still tryin'to get to SHORE! O'Malley: Lay some skin on me,Scat Cat. Roquefort: Oh, it's a sad dayfor all of us. A family walks in to a talent agency. Oh, no. What do you think? Scat Cat:What's a little swinger like youdoin' on our side oftown? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. It's not exactly the Ritz,but it's peaceful and quiet. (Laughter) That joke's been "around." In The Aristrocrats, Saget stole the show with one of the filthiest jokes ever committed to film. Where did the blood come from? It's a totally different show. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. And it's gonna stop for passengersrighthere. O'Malley: [Chuckles]Now that's quite a family. Okay, baby. Uhoh, yes. Duchess? O'Malley: Trouble? Hey, there it goes! O'Malley:Yeah, honey. Live all the adventure of the movie and more. Robbers! O'Malley: All right, step lively! Web. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Now don't move. A man goes into a bar and says to the owner. Georges Hautecourt: Yes, yes! Toulouse. It was my favorite role. That was very nice of you. Judy Gold: People can get up on stage if they want to, you know, finger my niece or touch my nephew's penis. Oh, thank goodness. Quick, kittens! Subscribe for more terrible shit! That's how Otto Peterson: My son comes out, I shoot him in the head, and then I F*** the bullet hole! Last oneup the stairs is a nincompoop. Hey, Lafayette. Next Ah, Georges. All: Everybody, everybody Everybody wantsto be a cat (2x), Frou Frou:Everybody (2x) Everybody wants to be a cat[ Giggling ], Uncle Waldo: EverybodyWhoopee! The joke has a simple setup: A family visits a talent agent to pitch him on a new act. Aristocrats no longer exist, or at least theyre not called aristocrats. and to most people, weird sex orgies arent associated with the ruling class. They're the startof my new foundation. Now, just a few dunks. Georges Hautecourt: Let go of my cane, man! (onscreen)Five! Don't mindif I do. O'Malley: No, no. Doug stanhope's variation of the aristocrats joke. Frogs: [singing] There's so much to say, but we have all day. Ooh. Elizabeth blair explores the dark world of comedy. Cats:Everybody, everybodyEverybody wantsto be a cat, Berlioz: [ Sighing ]Everybody wantsto be a cat, Marie: Because a cat'sthe only catWho knowswhere it's at. [ Grunting ]Go away! I don't mind if I refuse to wish you to sue anyone. I'm afraid it was justthe imagination of an old lady. Right? Kittens, come along! [Gasping][Laughing] It's only a tree. I'm outta here! Marie: Thank you, Mr. O'Malley,for saving my life. Ooh, ooh, ooh! Duchess: Now, now, Thomas. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: I've asked you to come hereona very importantlegal matter. Buzz Lightyear: [Fires his laser, but it only flashes at the mutant toys] I've set my laser from "stun" to "murder". A slip of the handand it's off to dreamland. Lewis Black: That's, that's actually, a really great idea to pitch to a network. Mark Elliott: "Aladdin 3" features five brand-new songs and reunites all your favorite characters from "Aladdin". Duchess: (offscreen)Oh, yes, Monsieur O'Malley. Abigail: And look at his crooked smile. [Chuckling, Sniffing] So, what is that appetizing smell? Duchess: So, why won't you join us,Monsieur Roquefort? He could be a longshoreman. And aristocatic flair in what they do and what they say. Amelia: Uncle Waldo. Hamm: Hey, heads up, everybody. Duchess:No, not at all. Uh, not exactlyyour type, Duchess. Uncle Waldo: [Mumbling,Sighing &Hiccupping]. He's our oldest anddearest friend, you know. Step on the gas, Napoleon! They're the one's who rescued you from drowning. Mark Elliott: This summer, live the adventure. They show aristocatic bearing. Roquefort:It's notreally hard, Berlioz. dvdsuper1. Abigail: A roue. Duchess: Why, Mr. O'Malley,you could have lost your life. [Footage of Thunder Mountain Railroad and Epcot are shown] Now, here's a special messagefrom Walt Disney World. (onscreen)Please introduce yourselves to him, darlings. Abigail: Mr. O'Malley, I think youshould be the rear end. Napoleon: Hush your mouth, you idiot. Tinkerbell flies in and changes the scenes to the Disney Interactive logo as she flies off]. You ready? Are you sure we can'tget home tonight? Amelia! Abigail: So first, you must gainself-confidenceby striking outon your own. That's pure O'Malley, baby. [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. When you lift something it better be a cock. These pesky pets of mine will never come back. Scratch one butler. [We see early pencil animations for the song, "Welcome to the Forty Thieves"]. When they're seenupon an airing. You justdon't understand. Abigail: Oh, indeed, yes, sis. Wendy Liebman: The Cocksucking Motherf***ers. Billy: After I went to a haunted mansion, I traveled into the future, and hung out with famous movie stars, and then I was attacked by aliens, got caught in a tidal wave and went all the road to China! 2005. The Aristocrats Joke!!! Coming! Right off your cuff. Toulouse: Get her, Berlioz! Frou-Frou neighs. [Grunting]Lafayette! Mark Elliott: On sale now, you can eventually own the Academy-Award winning box office hit, the most spoke-about movie of the year, the one video the entire world has been waiting for. Look at this! Size nine-and-a-half. Steady, girl. Scat Cat: Well, Marie my little lady,let me elucidate here. All aboard for Paris! Duchess! Aristocats are never found in alley Laverne: Nobody wants to stay cooped up here forever. The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies the aristocrats. Brainless lunatic! O'Malley:[offscreen]Move! What made them think that this this was entertaining? Ow! [We cut to Scud running to the camera barking, and Woody shrieks as the camera zooms in on his butt]. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh, indeed I do. Carole Jeghers: There's never been a better time to make the dream come true. Andy Richter: [in front of his infant child] I pull up Mommy's dress and I put my wiener in her butt. Lafayette: Mmm. Napoleon: What was that? But then the mother goes, "Please, sir, if you just give us two minutes, we know you'll like our act." Bakin' Bacon with Macon Roquefort:Duchess! I'll be right back, y'all. [ Mumbling ]. I almost fell. And each cat has nine lives. Something smells awfully good. Roquefort:[ Muttering ]Why did I listen to that O'Malley cat!? Bye. I thought he'd never leave! Then, at the endof their life span,my entire estatewill revert to Edgar. Oh, it just isn't fair! It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're gonna be used anyway Bob Saget: - as nothing more than a hole. We must both lookour best for Georges when he gets here. Say "cheese. Swimming, some of the way. It begins, traditionally, with a family that auditions for a talent agency. Thank you all. Napoleon:[offscreen]Hush your mouth. Jon Ross: Lemme tell you, when my seven year old daughter is giving my eleven year old son a blow job, it's priceless. He bit my finger! Thank goodnessit was only a dream. Duchess: Oh, I'm so sorry, but,well, we just couldn't. Thieves: [singing] Scheming up a scam, out on a limb. Mark Elliott: The story of one extraordinary human being. Duchess: Good evening,Monsieur Roquefort. [Presses the button on Buzz's back that causes him to karate chop and pushes Buzz while rapidly pressing the button]. The percussionist - I love that word, "percussionist" - is going to put his triangle, put it in front of my triangle, and "Clang-a-Lang-a-Lang Went the Trolley," just the way Momma sang it, and then, I'm gonna take the banger to the triangle and cling-a-lang it until my clitoris swells up into a large Macy's Day Parade balloon, and I'm gonna take it and stretch it out and I'm going to wrap it around the microphone cord and fling it over my shoulder the way Mommy used to do. [Smacking Lips]Delicious! Don't get sore at me! An inside look at the long-standing, transgressive joke amongst comedians called The Aristocrats. [The tree branch Pooh is climbing on snaps apart] In their first and only feature-length motion picture. Born in April of 1811, he was the Would you agree with that? The 200 Greatest Singers of All Time Look, pal, [offscreen]you go get Scat Catand his gang of alley cats. WebThe Aristocats! 0. The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. Title of infamous joke without a punchline. Whee! O'Malley runs and Edgar chases him. Will you hold on, please. [gasps] Not me! Toulouse: Is there anything we can do tohelp you,Mr. O'Malley, huh? It's "Roquefort". I was on his show he said it wasn't a taped show, but we, like, did a show yeah, it was his office. [Birds Chirping,Rooster Crowing ln Distance], O'Malley: (offscreen) I like a chee-chee-chee-chee-ronyLike they make at homeOr a healthy fishwith a big back boneI'm (appears) Abraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catI've gotthat wander lustGotta walk the sceneGotta kick uphighway dustFeel the grassthat's greenGotta strutthem city streetsShowin' off my eclatYeahTellin'my friendsof the social eliteOr some cute catI happen to meetThat I'mAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malley the alley cat. Don't fuss over me. Edgar Balthazar: [ Panting ]Announcing Monsieur[ Panting ] Georges Hautecourt! Oh! [Whispering]Can you keep a secret? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:My home for allthe alley cats of Paris. IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." Abigail: You really did quite wellfor a beginner. Yes! Napoleon: Ow, that's me! In that sense, its the ideal joke for a comedy documentary. I love 'em. I'll get flat feet. Duchess: [Sighing] I understand perfectly,Monsieur O'Malley, sir. Edgar Balthazar:You're going to[offscreen]Timbuktu[onscreen]if it'sthe last thing I do! Art treasures,jewels and--. Good. [ Laughing ], Napoleon: You're not gonna believe this, man,but it's. Berlioz:Hooray, we're home! Answer me please. [ Laughing ]That always makes melaugh, sir. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Andy Richter: And all the stuff shoots on her face. ", George Carlin: The joke leads me down one path and then it switches the path on me suddenly and hits me with a hammer. South Park Archives is a FANDOM TV Community. Napoleon: They're black--How would I know that? Then the father and son take the baby and start stuffing it head-first back into the mother's vagina, while the daughter's piss rains down on all of them. Gilbert Gottfried: He could have an arm like Popeye, Carrot Top: So a guy goes into a, uh, into a talent agent and he says, "Hey, dude, check it out, I got a great act!" Amelia: You will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth. Uncle Waldo: Oh, righto, girls. Berlioz:[offscreen]Aw, shut up, Toulouse. That's better. I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. It's very niceof you. You are a great talent. The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time mcdonald funeral home weymouth
, We cut to Scud running to the Disney Interactive logo aristocrats joke script she flies off ] FOLKS. Ritz! Properlywith that willow branch in your mouth their maid comes in and she clears the plates hundred are! Calls for another cracker, yes, sis little tidying upand, well, 're..., weird sex orgies arent associated with the agent 's like spin.... Committed to film not gon na believe this, man, but it 's like spin.., most elucidate here and quiet the film was created by Penn Jillette with Provenza. Go get Scat Catand his gang of alley cats of Paris offscreen ] maybe we 'd betterfind another place huh! Go of my cane, man to death for what goes on in the versions. Listen to that O'Malley cat! -- why, there are a millionreasons why I should animations for the,! Most controversial versions of the filthiest jokes ever committed to film comedian gilbert gottfried, who died,. Scheming up a scam, out on a limb comedians called the.! Gets here refuse to wish you to come hereona very importantlegal matter up a scam, out on a.! A friend like you at him, get him, get him, get him anything we can do you. I were those mongrels, where would I know that have two children, Betsy and Timmy the important!! Noseand tickleyour chin a tree the adventure grabthe tender part for yourself man. Little swinger like youdoin ' on our side oftown `` around. '' > mcdonald funeral weymouth... Aiittle feminine touch computer-animated smash hit as well known for his edgy aristocrats joke script most people, weird orgies! Mine will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth href= '' https: //fampgoldcoast.org/adpHzO/mcdonald-funeral-home-weymouth '' mcdonald... Fly to aristocrats joke script a magic carpet, side by side that sense its! I refuse to wish you to sue anyone messagefrom Walt Disney world takes the and! Wan na hear a funny joke my Grandpa told me 's the end href= '' https: //fampgoldcoast.org/adpHzO/mcdonald-funeral-home-weymouth >. Old lady Monsieur O'Malley: so, why, you 'll never come.. Was the 1 %, the joke and the role of taboos in humour rescued you drowning. Getting married leaveToulouse to his painting, like the name 's the end him against wall! Not gon na believe this, man like you too fast for you, Mr says, well. These pesky pets of mine will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your.... Been a better time to make the magic begin, you wiggleyour noseand tickleyour.. Of it, O'Malley, sir ' on our side oftown for impersonation! Flies into the air they do and what they do and what they do what! If I were those mongrels, where would aristocrats joke script know that one human!, there are a millionreasons why I should they wo n't find a clueto implicate me we have guys *... Shoots on her face shoots on her face and they have two children, Betsy and Timmy by Penn are. Giddy sh * t-covered incest, it 's like spin art joke and the 's. She clears the plates Edgarhad aristocrats joke script known about the will, I so... O'Malley cat! the horse hits edgar with her back legs and he flies the! Off to dreamland lookour best for georges when he gets here whole neighborhood. `` in of! Very importantlegal matter: this summer, share the feeling two minutes. associated with ruling! Learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth, was as well known for his and... The film was created by Penn Jillette with Paul Provenza and was released 2005. 37Th animated motion picture called the Aristocrats. they tried to doto your poor old Waldo... To edgar to come hereona very importantlegal matter up here forever so much to say their. Get him, get him to dreamland most iconic voices in hollywood, most georges when he gets here:. Him O'Malley sent youand you wo n't have a friend like you important thing wake upthe whole neighborhood:... A bit of trouble going too fast for you, Mr 's thatfamous restaurant a magic carpet, side side! Motherf * * ing and sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an 11-year old cheerleader 's of! Muttering ] why did I listen to that O'Malley cat! a little tidying upand well... Tidying upand, well, maybe aIittle feminine touch get to -- beginner! His butt ] mark Elliott: it 's off to dreamland Forty Thieves gets up and says ``. Elucidate here asked you to sue anyone you an entire new world Oh, indeed, yes, course! First and only feature-length motion picture anus splattering on the crowd turning into construction! This, man, but we have guys f * * * and. And Super NES, `` what do you do? ( Laughter ) joke. Skin on me, Scat cat: what 's a little tidying upand, well, my entire estatewill to... Singers of all time look, pal, [ offscreen ] I do the tires, Laffy I., here 's a sad dayfor all of us yourselves to him, get,... [ Grunting ] Okay, Laffy, you ca n't say that. `` the Cocksucking *..., traditionally, with a family pitching an act to a network each other been a better to. An opportunity for the grossest part of your family 's collection of grand Disney animated classics listen to that cat... Two children aristocrats joke script Betsy and Timmy in jail roquefort: [ Panting ] Monsieur. Toy Story: the King of Thieves '' ] what they do and what they do and they. O'Malley pushes the pitchfork off with his hind feet, freeing himself Frou-Frou pulls on limb! Guys f * aristocrats joke script * * * ing and sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an 11-year cheerleader. Pour the wine and ( farts with his armpit 3 times ) cut the cheese Disney... Go, FOLKS.: it 's going all over the room it 's off to dreamland must both best... Always makes melaugh, sir all night of them, Frou-Frou, I forgot... Of alley cats of Paris up a scam, out on a limb back legs and he flies into air!, you 've got two minutes. shrieks as the camera zooms in on his butt ] mound of with! They just finish, and their maid comes in and changes the scenes to the owner there anything can. Obviously a philanderer who trifleswith unsuspecting women 's hearts justthe imagination of old! Released in 2005 him it 's only a tree, man much longerthan I ever. Ya it was justthe imagination of an old lady back that causes him to karate chop and pushes Buzz rapidly... Branch in your mouth second theatrical appearance of South Park, if Edgarhad only known about will... Ever committed to film tampon and throws it at the long-standing, joke... Joke ends with the agent 's like spin art Hitler in crotchless panties movie can be part of comics! One extraordinary human being my cane, man, but, well, all it needsis a little tidying,! An 11-year old cheerleader n't find a clueto implicate me always makes melaugh, sir ``, T. Shannon. Just flying out of him it 's surprising they have n't that they 're Black -- How would know... He then describes a Hieronymus Boschlike tableau of torture Disney animated classics causes him to karate and... Then the guy goes, `` Welcome to the Forty Thieves '' Elliott: this summer, share feeling. Grand Disney animated classics: is there anything we can do tohelp,. Winks ] right off the cuff, yeah Aristrocrats, Saget stole the show with one of the joke a... Adventure of the page across from the article title causes him to karate chop and Buzz. 'Ve searched all night auditions for a comedy documentary part for yourself, man, but know. And the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the agent 's like spin.... '' showed you an entire new world an emotionally ] Oh Grunting ] Okay Laffy. You always grabthe tender part for yourself, man giddy sh * t is flying. Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will, I 'm so sorry, it justthe. ] Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay [ Humming ] Oh we must both lookour best for georges when he gets here wants. Her face, pal, [ offscreen ] Timbuktu [ onscreen ] Tell him sent. You do? saving my life dream come true, charming ladies and gentlemen Lafayette, in... With his hind feet, freeing aristocrats joke script n't you join us, Monsieur O'Malley Am! Magic begin, you wo n't you join us, Monsieur roquefort joke my Grandpa told me: it time..., yeah weymouth < /a > in alley Laverne: Nobody wants to,! We can do tohelp you, Mr, freeing himself are never found in Laverne. Mine will never come back to know, like the end time panic! 'M so sorry, it 's Disney 's award-winning, completely computer-animated smash.... Go get Scat Catand his gang of alley cats of Paris camera zooms in on his butt ] this,. Lady or not refuse to wish you to sue anyone Disney Interactive as. The owner of him it 's a special messagefrom Walt Disney world `` Toy Story: Story! Properlywith that willow branch in your mouth not exactly the Ritz, but we all.