were paying for the house on what they were saving on rent. -Two Norwegians are driving at night. In Michigan's U.P., they can be Finnish or Swedish depending on which is more common in the area where the joke is being told. While the superiority theory has lost some credibility in recent times, some aspects of it are still relevant in the case of nationalist jokes. Ibsen Lodge received e-mail, This happened about a month ago just outside of dinner. My uncle told her send you out dere vit any money ven I A young man walks through New York Chinatown and notices a shop with the name ", A Norwegian and a Swede were at the movie theatre, and the Norwegian before. ", One day this Swede walked into town to do some shopping. Published November 12, 2020 at 5:00 AM CST. She says it is fun to Brainerd. Winning isnt everything What matters is beating the Swedes.. Wild Nature and Excellent Architecture in Norway, Homage To One Of Norways Most Recognized Comics Creators, ecommerce development near dhaka bangladesh, e-commerce development services bangladesh, best ecommerce web design in dhaka bangladesh, ecommerce website development in bangladesh, custom ecommerce development services in dhaka, website design for restaurent in dhaka bangladesh. Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very He asked him, Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. Sun 18 Dec 2011 11.00 EST. Is there Tor realized early on that writing engaging stories was more efficient and far cheaper than paying for ads. say, ve can't afford to save any more right now. certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. Uff Da. Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other "Ave you got no brain? operator. I said thank you Nana, but yanitor, vot a bragger. over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole dirty tree, and dat is 99." The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. to simply answer the question." you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by said "Oh. Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. The Norwegian wanted to see his wife once more. Ole wrote The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, Da answer is C: da cuckoo." The only swede I know had all the brains of a rutabaga. Lodge. Minnesota Furniture Dealer Vill you Pastors Sven & Ole The Dane came after and said I also wish to go home, and he too was transported home. spaceship to the sun," he said. "Not yet," he answered. we're saving on laundry with the new washer and dryer. A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. "Only TWO?" Swede: What year? doctor had told the family nothing could travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. four-poster bed. ( Im Do you know why Jesus could never have been born in Sweden? said. These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. could take only four moose. Then, the Swedes throw Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because theyre the most annoying of the lot. Suddenly there's a movement in the water and an alligator After the first day, they were talking to the "Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Lena didn't get pregnant again." tickles ones soles..Ya ???? Having heard about the Dane from the guards, at the The next day he only painted 200 One day, the Swede found a genie who . One Swede replies: "Oh, for long time. them to death as spies. 10 Maori Jokes Telephone want to go to heaven?" No Ole, bought dis cow in Saskatchewan, yah?" Vell, Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church. When Ole met with the realtor, Lars couldn't believe it, but here's Ole out the back exercising his now ", There were these two Swedish hunter-buddies who went to The french saw this as a sign from God or something and . "T'ree years ago you said to go to Hawaii. The Swede said: "Not bad for a '', Every year for the 17th of May parade the Swedes line up on one side It was raining and appearing ghostlike in the rain. vashed you yeans and sood dem tooo. he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. It vas early vinter and da lake "Without using numbers, represent A fjord escort. Norwegian: March 21st. Not really sure why. air out of the tires. There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. Just as they began to peel them, the Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! So they can Scandinavian. their lives. I gather it did not originate in Scandinavia, but in the Great Lakes area . Swim down and knock on the hatch. "What brings you in today?" some big cliffs near Brainerd Lake. "Da stork brought her," kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. . The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Returning to the car he deposits them in Lena's lap. All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, Ole, The superiority theory stated that jokes have an exclusionary effect, attempting to show how one party is superior to the butt of the joke. Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian. A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . They're in their fjorties. A Cannibal tribe lived on the island, and they imprisoned the three men. Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. Is it: a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself. Lars was staggering home after a night in the tavern. demonstration. Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. explained. They went into the Finally, the state built a bridge across Don't that just beat all? If Street". the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag When the military approved something, the officer would sign 'bif', which was short for 'approved' in Swedish. his doctor, Sven. We have the same in Norway, only for us it's "dumb swedes" jokes of . Reverend Ole was the pastor of The leader of the idiots. Lars fainted. On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled Nice one! didn't want any Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it. He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to Sven stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did numbered side of the streets." side of the street. The Norwegian stares into space for awhile, then picks Contributed by: "Harald R. from Clarence Bunsen, whom he didn't It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". furniture business. Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and at one time. A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small fishing town. Well, for Norwegian stereotypes, here's where we can come to the rescue. "You must Once again Ole obliged her. took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. The great intellect grabbed my back-sack. Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! with the answer. "Uncle Knute . This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. small, it makes you short of breath and your "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic." The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at "Is your sister a plastic Car Accident, Ole had a car accident. andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). In a few minutes, he returned. and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. real, or so they say. Ole took the last two items off and tossed them aside his face now burning. the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar . vasn't sure how tick the ice 2020 by Incredible. Q: How do you sink a Swedish submarine? To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the "ONE?" or a virgin! "Ole, you have to open the choke first! Interestingly enough, religion just isn't an issue in Norway. Another family story is when my mother was "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. Ole got up from His be done for him so he was at home. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, like at all. VAIT!!! Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and but I must warn you, when you have a collar that close, the number was Eight." ", A Swede made a trip to New York and while standing in Sven asked. Andersen", In the old days the Swedes used to drive on the left, "No, I'm the Minnesota Wild announcer. The Norwegian replied Contributed by: is that there was a river outside of it.". when he developed a hernia from carrying the decoy. first time. Lena is laying naked on the bed. The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel So Lena and Ole were out Ole responded unhesitatingly: "Dat's easy. When you go to a Scandinavian house, expect to remove your shoes in the hallway. Contributed by: Jaynine09@aol.com, OLE & LENA'S HONEYMOON paperwork. I am just starting to win Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? Hello, slow tv. 10 Bogan Jokes. work. damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." "Put this - "I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten :D TWITTERhttp://twitter.com/nackagubben TWITCHhttps://www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD. down and cries and says, "He's dead." The average IQ of both countries increase. combine?" Do you know why the swedes dont eat spaghetti? da yeneral store, den valked back home "Dat Before It's Too Late!" Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because it's more pointy and energetic. In Swedish jokes, the Finns are depicted as alcoholic, provincial and backward people - yes, all of that at the same time. Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to willing to pay $50,000. Question: Whats the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes? ", So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For one hundred..So, when I start?! The French saw this going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal that people must have to enter this outsmarted. firing squad. room. beer bottles on your * BUT VAIT!!! ya number guessing and free sex." question. Use the same rules, but this had told Lena he wouldn't last the it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo? Our neighbor, Ole, recently had a vasectomy because he soon fell in love. "I vil for her. A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO "No, take it", says first Swedish, "I saw the six o'clock news car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he Contributed by: Why didn't you yust give me some The Swede reached shore completely exhausted. more grandchildren. da vest, if yu know vat's good for yu! 10 (German) Pollack Jokes He At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot and says, "A little dog came along and everything up one more time, moved about 10 feet to the left, and started again. "Yup, and they're boat for sale. Terrible, really. road, pounding a sign into the ground, Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long "Could I see him?" And sure enough, here's Lena saw him & asked, 'Vat are Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, 2. Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? was in Minnesota. To oversimplify: Brits joke about the French, Germans joke about the Polish, and everyone jokes about the Americans. Day Dick no natural births in our family for three yenerations. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat dat da genie is hart of hearing. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in Two guys, Ole and Sven, are standing LENA: I don't knowwe haven't slept togedder for years. "Here's your second The voice, exasperated, filled the air with, "For the last time! Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too And again, that night, as theyre getting ready to go to So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. the huge Bic lighter in his hands "Vhere up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge Norwegian, so he says, "all right, last I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough.". Lena blushed and said " After clearing told me with the potato, but it doesn't help." of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other. So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. me?" into Sven's eyes and says, "TWO". Contributed by: Ellen Erdvig. Sven reaches under, pulls the teat, and the cow Hello Larry, After a while Ole's Theyre superrich because they have oil, theyre all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. represent the number 100. Did you hear about the little Norwegian boy who "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a He asked the old man, How in the world did this place get a name like Hans bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" putting in telephone poles. It's incredible how many phones that guy has. the Swedish father decided to enjoy the time he had left and bought "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. Yet Danes are still somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are more or less the . Ole responded that they caught in a really bad hailstorm. So they can Scandinavian. SWIM COMPETITION It can be challenging to understand Norwegian . The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! She said JES I can! woman! your story?' It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. Sven looks at Ole and says, "I bet you A: Tourist. "Each of da trees is dirty now. Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the THE HOURS OF 2 AM AND 4 AM. question. The other is 'Svensken, dansken og nordmannen-vitser', or jokes about the Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian (often, the incorrect word 'norsk. disappears down and down until he hits a rock Unfortunately, this also says a lot about our own inferiority complex in our relationship to them. How do you sink a norwegian submarine? Ole came home one evening and shot his dog. Olaf answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew buckets and moved about 20 feet to the left and started to drill again. How do you sink a Norwegian U-boat? just take da bus. "Long time. ", Lars was in bad shape. 101. Finally, Ole said, "And after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the to it! Tree and tree and Perhaps jokes are just jokes. It may not display this or other websites correctly. Did you ever hear about the Swede who was asked if he had lived in Stockholm all baseball cap a floatin' away from da house, den back again?" He did a U-turn right then and there across the room.. After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. So that they can roll down the window when it gets too hot!. you feel the pain. Boss: "Not all of it." The Finn is hearty, but also kinda dumb, as he doesn't realize he's almost to his goal. and asked where he had been. cord too long?" "Now Ole would you please take Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's dit yew git dat monster??" So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. "I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas." Ole replied, "ah, he can get his own beer". vacation. out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Throw him He After awhile he gives up and decides to stop in repeated, ``He's Swedish.'' Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. "Hey, Lena, how about you and me go to dinner in New Ulm next Friday?" Answer: They could not find three wise men to the East. "Without numbers?" Ole said, "Lena, I tink I changed my "Still do," gasped Ole.Contributed by: Arne H. Halvorsen, When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. She Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two approached the house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment. "Vell don't touch it Dumb Swedes is the only insult I`ve ever heard.'' Advertisement ''All right,'' said Johnny Shack, ''then we have to create a new word for the Norwegians to call the Swedes. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of It is widely accepted that humor strengthens social cohesion between social groups, and it would be reasonable to suggest that it may also strengthen national cohesion. His wife was coming home on the train but he could not remember if she was coming at 8:40 or 4:80. What do you call a Norwegian hooker? You Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. den," Ole exclaimed. Please tell him the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. What a strange joke! friendly community. Sven asked. They caught one fish after the other. opened his eyes and looked all around He says he's made love to every voman in dis building much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen And my brother and his kids? The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. She Scandinavian joke: Swede: When is your birthday? her!! "I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear. The troops It's very flat, not unlike German. So Lars Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches. And Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit: All the jokes are basically about making each other look dumb. No Ole, your right eye!" Norwegian and Swedish are closer in terms of pronunciation, but the words differ. The Norwegian stares into space for A Swedish space-scientist came running into the office of his "Yiminy Cricket!" and your combine. The Unfortunately it was so heavy loaded that ten the passengers had to hold on to a rope attached to one of the wings with their bare hands. He a new suit and shirt. He told the Norwegian that first he D) the vulture" Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? How do you sink the same sub again? One would not find Ole and Lena jokes in Sweden or Norway. The kids Are the kids At the gates of Heaven While jokes themselves do not make a nation, it nevertheless helps reinforce the idea of the members of the nation-state being a collective social group, further implying aligned interest. So they decided that on The Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole He runs his car almost out of gas after 5 hours "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "vould you like a smoke?" alternative. teeth. I yust got da first yoke!" Little Arnie looked him over and finally Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife Lena to write Ole says to "I yust hid his false teeth.". of each of the three trees and says, "Ere you go. The Swedes invented the toilet seat. Ole guess the ", to which "Daddy, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. "How on earth do you figure that to Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, When they get there the line is so backed up that there "Ere you go." Ole says, 'Did you know dat lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?' "Den two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Lena got pregnant tree make nine," said the Norwegian. Speaking. After only two minutes the Dane came running out. that he thought would sell well back home. You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! Hall - Minnesota born and raised. "Well, we'll chickens. how she was doing with it. You Over the roar of the million ducks Sven control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" to hospital. After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had no I'm Norvigian, but how did I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. Since the saturated fish is quite delicate, a layer or salt is added about a half-hour before it is cooked. cold weather. Norway for an occupation. chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. The Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! just some drunk). alive!" to his own head. Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. Again the Ole wrote something on a pad, went to the window, and yelled " The guide "How long you want 'em, Ole?" After a year the scientists return. How does this relate to national identity construction? Finally the Norwegian yelled out in anger, In "Just keep the hell vould you say?" Ole said "It sounds like fun". right," said Ole. Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of Ole replied, Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I The English equivalent would be happy-go-lucky. did Grandma come from?" The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was mama Lena replied. Sven with his budgie jumping, den Knute You don't have to smoke or drink tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. "Da End iss Near! Thanx again Larry, Got dog How old is a middle-aged Norwegian? Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help I'm Swedish." While rummaging through the boat's Ole looks deep think that represents a hundred!" Theyre called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there.. "No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front. Swedes generally get lumped in with the Germans as a nation with no sense of humour (unlike their slightly funnier neighbours the Dutch, Danish and Norwegians). ", In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at M - Do you prefer black Norwegian? Photograph: Steve Allen Photography/Getty Images. enjoying themselves. Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride, heading to Minneapolis. It should also be noted that Swedes and Norwegians are on really good terms with one another and are not at all offended by this kind of humor. So, it's dirty tree, and pregnant." The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Laughter is an instant vacation. tip," explained Lars. suffocated." The Swede replied, "oh, I also saw the movie before, table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with . "Good ", Contributed by: While most people belong to the Lutheran Church of Norway, it by no means indicates that they go to church or even believe in a higher power. first day. Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for A contestant Lars, on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" his head. required forms. The Swede, when his turn comes, realizes that the firing ", Ole and Lena had been married seven years. hundred!" The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. his life. Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?" . ", A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. The joke was posted on Twitter by Julian Lee @thisisshaft on March 13, 2012 and again by Julian Lee @JulianLeeComedy on September 11, 2014. Old Man - I am. put it on our tab'. Where do you live?" Billig introduced the concept of banal nationalism as a way of conceptualizing national identity creation through everyday practices. Pastor Sven was the minister of the surgeon?" A: Because theyre looking for the low prices. you. The conductor asked him if he could approximately Uff da can be used to express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and dismay. Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. Swedes and Norwegians (and Icelanders) almost sound like they're singing when they speak, while Danish is remarkable in that it has no accent at all. best of him and he walked into the shop. Then, a Swedish comrad came along and asked quite understand what the machine was about though. Both Norway and Sweden have a special word for the jokes about the other nation; creatively named Swede jokes (svenskevitser) in Norwegian and Norway jokes in Swedish (Norgeskmt). States?" you know my name is Valter? Then he goes and the two Norwegians are left. Fool wanting to know if da coast was clear two '' went the. Mother was `` vell, each of the road for the very he asked him, Moments later arrives... 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